Read the piece below, then we'll talk about it for a minute before moving on.
Giving feedback well is one of the more underrated skills in management — and its hallmark isn't eloquence, it's precision. A crowd-pleasing comment like "great job, everyone!" feels warm in the moment but rarely tells anyone what to actually repeat or fix. The opposite mistake is just as common: a lackadaisical shrug and a vague "it's fine, I guess," delivered with no real thought behind it. Somewhere between the two sits the feedback that actually lands — specific, honest, and clearly meant to help rather than to perform kindness or avoid conflict.
New managers often adopt a laissez-faire approach at first, assuming that if they simply leave people alone, problems will resolve themselves. It rarely works that way. Left unaddressed, small frustrations accumulate into real hostility, and by the time a manager finally says something, the moment for a light, easy correction has already passed. It helps to remember that most people giving feedback for the first few times are still gaining their footing — it's normal to feel awkward, to have suddenly blanked on the right words mid-sentence, or to soften a point until it disappears entirely.
A useful habit is learning to sift through what you actually want to say before the conversation starts, rather than improvising in the moment. Are you treating every constituent of your team the same way, or adjusting your tone person by person? Ignore the hallway chatter about who's "too sensitive" or "too blunt" — the real test is whether the person walks away knowing exactly what to do differently. And when you're torn between praising an effort and pointing out its flaws, sincerity is usually the tiebreaker: people can tell the difference between feedback that's honest and feedback that's just trying to sound nice.
Ten sentence starters for giving feedback diplomatically. Tap each card to reveal the meaning, then we'll talk about it.
What's something you'd genuinely want to praise in someone's work during their first month?
How would you soften a criticism about something that genuinely needs improvement?
What's a question you could ask instead of just telling someone what to fix?
What's a pattern you might notice in someone's work over a few weeks, good or bad?
What's a small, practical suggestion that could make a big difference to someone's work?
What's an area you'd want a PM to grow in, without making them feel criticized?
How do you make praise sound specific instead of generic, like "great job"?
What's something you'd want to see change going forward, on a real project?
What's something you'd genuinely like to see more of from your future team?
How would you introduce a suggestion so it doesn't sound like an order?
One of your PMs just gave a presentation that had good ideas but was poorly structured and ran way over time. Give them balanced feedback — something genuine to praise, and something clear to improve.
I'll play the PM — a little nervous about how it went. Use at least 4 of today's starters.
Different challenge: this PM did an excellent job on a project, but there's one small area that could still be refined. Give feedback that's mostly positive but doesn't skip the one honest note.
I'll play someone who did great and is a bit proud of it — don't let the praise crowd out the one real suggestion.
Three short tasks to lock in this week's phrases. Should take about 15–20 minutes total.
Sentence A:
Sentence B: